September 17, 2015 – I threw up at the finish line of my first cross country race.
June 5, 2022 – I rejoiced at the finish line of my first marathon.
Throughout this journey, I’ve struggled, improved, and conquered. In this article, I’ll share my story and what running has taught me about myself and life in general. There’s a lot behind that smile at the finish of the marathon.
Table of Contents:
Organized Running
Disorganized Running
Building up to the Marathon
The Culmination
Takeaways
Organized Running
Hunched over the barrel of vomit after my first race in 6th grade, I thought to myself, “Why would I put myself through this?” In middle school, I found two answers to that question.
My initial answer was to spend time with my teammates. A lot of my friends were on the cross country team and I enjoyed seeing them every day at practice. I didn’t care too much about how well I ran or how fast I was.
As time went on, I kept going through the motions, I kept following my coaches’ directions, and eventually, I became faster. When I was starting out in 6th grade, I couldn’t run our full 5-kilometer races without walking. By 7th grade, though, I was one of the fastest runners on the team.
Here’s a photo of me racing in 7th grade –
Speaking of races, a note on how cross country races work – the 7 fastest runners on the team run in the Varsity race. Scoring for the school works by adding up the finishing places of the 5 fastest runners on the Varsity team. The school with the lowest total score wins. The finishing places of everyone else on the team don’t matter.
The relevance of that note is, by 7th grade, I was one of the 5 fastest runners on the team. How well I ran affected the team’s success. Passing the next runner could be the difference between my team winning by a point or losing by a point.
Thus, my second answer to the question was the competitive spirit that cross country excited in me. I gained the drive to train harder and get faster. I was laser focused on reducing my times at every race.
By 8th grade, I was one of the most experienced students on my middle school team. However, I performed just about as well as I did the year before. Despite my drive to improve, something held me back from crushing my times from the previous season.
That setback was a lack of off-season training. The cross country season spans from September to November, with official practices starting in July. After the end of the season in November, I didn’t run at all. I was still somewhat physically active, but I certainly got a kick in the pants returning to practice in July after not truly running for six months. It took a while for me to regain my fitness, which gave me little time to actually improve.
For example, how much I ran outside of practice in 2018 –
In 8th grade, though, I set my sights on a new goal – the alluring high school Varsity team. In cross country, the Varsity team is determined simply by the 7 fastest runners on the team, irrespective of age, though naturally most of the Varsity runners were experienced upperclassmen.
Earning this title became my driving force. Entering the high school team as a freshman, I was determined to prove my strength and speed. At our first race of the season, I placed 7th, just enough to place me for Varsity.
I was neck-and-neck with two other runners. Throughout my freshman year, we would often jockey for position between 7th, 8th, and 9th fastest on the team. One race, I would qualify for Varsity, and the next, I wouldn’t. This fueled my competitive spirit. I ended the season maintaining my position as the 7th fastest runner, and earned the privilege of representing my school at the state championships.
Here’s a photo of me running in a high school varsity race –
I didn’t train in the off-season before my sophomore year. Then, I got a reality check when I returned and found myself the 8th fastest runner on the team. I suffered a plantar fasciitis injury which hindered my ability to get faster. I worked hard to regain my fitness and broke my own personal records, but I never recovered the Varsity position I held as a freshman.
Yet again, I found myself wondering, “Why would I put myself through this?” This time, though, the answer wasn’t obvious. What was really behind that Varsity title?
Disorganized Running
In November 2019, I decided to try something new. I started actually running on my own in the off-season. I kept up running 4 days a week for about a month (the longest period of time I’d ever consistently exercised on my own) before the holidays caught up to me and I stopped running consistently.
Cut to July 2020. It hit me — we were in the middle of the pandemic and there would be no cross country practice. The start of the season was always the reason for my getting back in shape; I hadn’t consistently worked out since last November.
It was time to start running for myself. I wasn’t trying to prove myself to coach, run faster than my friends, or make anyone else proud. There was no Varsity title looming over me. In July 2020, I decided to get out there and challenge myself to keep running without anyone keeping me accountable.
My runs ebbed and flowed. Some days, I’d crush my workouts, and others, I’d barely get out of the house. I honestly never returned to my “peak” speed that I reached during cross-country. I didn’t have a fitness goal or a training plan, other than to get out there week after week.
During this period of time, I realized that cross country should never purely have been about the accolades. For the first time in my life, I ran for the love of the sport, not to chase medals. I was authentically running my own race. Despite not achieving the fastest pace of my life, I was happy, and staying in shape.
Here’s how much I ran on my own in 2020 –
I learned the discipline required to exercise consistently. Working out became a part of my daily routine — I’d wake up, go on a run, then return home just in time for Zoom classes. I didn’t need to search for motivation to exercise every day; it was just habit.
Building up to the Marathon
Why on earth would someone decide to run a marathon?
On November 24, 2021 (the day before Thanksgiving), I woke up early and went on a long run to burn off the calories that I was certainly going to gain back the next day. At the time, a long run was 7 miles (3.5 miles out and back). When I got to the turn-around point, I still felt great, and I decided to keep pushing and run 10 miles (5 miles out and back). I didn’t check my watch in time, and it turns out that I accidentally ran 6 miles, which would have made my total run 12 miles. I decided that, at this point, I might as well run enough to exceed a full 13.1 mile half-marathon.
That’s how I ran my first ever half marathon. While I may have made it sound easy, it truly knocked me out. At mile 11, the end felt impossibly far. I was thirsty, tired, and ready to give up. In the following days, my legs were sore like never before.
Despite all of this, I thought to myself: “If I can run a half marathon with no training, how hard could it be to run a full marathon?”
I pondered and considered. Did I really want to run another race after committing to leave it all behind and running on my own terms? Would this challenge be worth it?
I took on the challenge and trained for the Rock ‘n’ Roll San Diego Marathon on June 5th, 2022. I made a training plan in December with the help of some Google searching and excitedly awaited the beginning of my 18-week workout regiment.
In the face of my first strict workout schedule since 2019 cross country, I was surprisingly enjoying the grind. With myself as coach, I found the workouts much more enjoyable. Training towards a goal, on my own terms, was immensely rewarding. I reframed the marathon into a race against the distance, not a race against the clock or the competitors. I was gaining strength to overcome a challenging obstacle rather than to prove myself to others.
Soon enough, the seemingly impossible started becoming possible. Every week I pushed to get closer to conquering the distance. Some days I “won” and crushed the runs, and other days I “lost” and came home broken and exhausted. I made sure to keep putting myself out there, learning from my mistakes, and sticking with what worked.
I switched fitness trackers, but here’s what my daily averages looked like while I was on my training plan. Speaking of which, if you’re interested in my training plan, check out a free printable version here.
Eventually, the marathon became more than a physical feat. I wanted to prove to myself that I could do anything I set my mind to.
The Culmination
In the weeks preceding the marathon, I began to have doubts about my ability to finish the marathon. I struggled on my 20-mile run, ending my longest training run with a “loss.” The weekend before the marathon, I was camping with my best friend at Lake Mohave, with temperatures in the Nevada desert reaching well over 100 degrees. Running there was challenging; when I worked out, I got dehydrated and tired quickly.
To my surprise, I learned two days before the marathon that there is a notoriously difficult 2 mile section of constant uphill from miles 22-24 of the marathon. I’m not the best at hills, and I knew that this would be a major challenge after running for 3 hours.
After a rough couple of weeks, I had to mentally regroup the night before the marathon. I reminded myself that I was running a race against the distance. I was going to put my best foot forward and treat it like any other long run. I had put in the work for months; it wasn’t time to lay off the gas.
On marathon day, I was still slightly nervous, but had regained much of my confidence. The run was tough (that aforementioned hill was absolutely brutal) but overall it was fantastic. I conquered the course, finishing in 4 hours and 10 minutes. During the race, I was able to fully zero in on my goal, forget about my past doubts, and put one foot in front of the other. There certainly is room to improve, but I put up a performance that I’m proud of.
Takeaways
Running has taught me a variety of lessons “the hard way.” My experience was by no means smooth, but I have no regrets and believe that I’ve come out the other side as a far stronger person.
There are many more, but here are the top four things I’ve learned throughout my long-distance running journey –
1] Getting out There – Before I was mature enough to understand the deeper value of running, I was encouraged to continue coming to practice by the supportive community and team. My coaches and teammates were the primary reason that I enjoyed running in 6th grade, and if I didn’t enjoy coming to practice, this story would have ended a whole lot sooner. If you’re in a position to mentor or coach students to help them build positive habits, please do consider it, as a little push could make a huge difference down the road.
I also would like to give a special thank you to my parents for building me up, especially at the beginning of my running journey. I was honestly reluctant to try cross country, but they signed me up for the team anyway, knowing that it could be valuable for me. Their dedication behind the scenes – driving me to practice every day, cheering me on at races, and supporting me when injured and tired – truly made a huge difference.
2] Setting Goals – Struggling for the Varsity title helped me realize what healthy goals look like. When I got injured my sophomore year and did not maintain my Varsity status, I was quite frustrated with myself, despite it not being fully my fault. My goals should never have solely based around accolades, because accolades are outside of my control. Instead, once I left the cross country team, my goals began revolving around my effort; at first, running every other day, later, sticking to the marathon training plan no matter how I felt when I got up that morning. Focusing on things fully within your control will help you achieve a greater degree of satisfaction. The more attached you get to external awards, the more likely you are to be disappointed.
3] Achieving Goals – There are many easier things than sticking to a training plan for 18 weeks. When I first laid out my training plan, a 26.2 mile run seemed unfathomable. As time went on, I gradually made progress and increased the maximum distance that I could run. The key to this was unmitigated daily discipline by getting out of bed and running nearly every day. I learned a lot about how to effectively motivate myself. The mental benefits of training for a marathon extend far beyond running; I’ve developed the mental fortitude to achieve demanding, challenging, time-consuming goals, which is a worthwhile underlying benefit.
4] Mind, Body, and Heart – To finish a marathon, you need a perfect balance of mind, body, and heart. At the beginning of the marathon, you need a strong mind to pace yourself and forget that the end is nowhere in sight. Through the middle stretch, you rely on your body to display the physical strength you’ve been building during training. Finally, once you can’t feel your legs anymore and you feel like giving up, your heart and passion keep pushing you to cross the finish line. With the combination of mind, body, and heart, you can achieve the impossible. If one of them is lacking, your path to crushing your dreams will be much more challenging. However, if you can harness all three aspects in daily life, you’ll surprise yourself at how much you’re capable of.
How was my marathon experience more than fitness? It’s the culmination of a barrel of vomit, a fortuitous Thanksgiving, and an immense amount of dedication. The journey of my growth as a runner is far greater than the destination of finishing a marathon.
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1 Comment
I Ran 4 Miles Every 4 Hours for 48 Hours.Here's How and Why - Raj Pabari · July 5, 2023 at 8:56 am
[…] had some reason to believe I could complete the challenge. I finished my first marathon in June 2022. The only problem was that I was nowhere close to that level of fitness at the time […]